lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
