if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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