Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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