Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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