'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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