Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
