Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
you traded sex for a burrito?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
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