yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
