YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
