so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
