A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
the day after is always just damage control
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
