Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
