do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
