do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Randomize
