She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize