If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
