No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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