the new term for farting is butt boxing.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize