Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
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