I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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