some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
