Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
