his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
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