i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
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