how can u be prego again
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
