How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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