So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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