Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize