Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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