Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
