She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
