If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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