She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize