how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
