So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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