singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize