are you so shy because you have an std?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
