the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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