Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize