i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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