I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
