I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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