if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
