i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Send help, water and tortillas.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
