At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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