good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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