There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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