I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize