508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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