Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Randomize
