i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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