then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
