Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
