sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
We have so much sex to catch up on
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
