so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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