whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
