His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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