I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
