I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
