shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
