Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
