hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Randomize
