I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
