Hey man sorry I got all grabby
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize