jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
