Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize