Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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