how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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