Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
