Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
