I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
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